1. "There were things scattered inside of her that she needed to gather together."
    — 

    Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

    (via twloha)

     
  2. back-that-watsky:

    Happy Birthday George Watsky!

     

  3. "I’m going to love
    no matter how much I lose.
    I cannot give up."
     

  4. You should know where I’m coming from.

    Christ has redeemed me.

    I know this. But I keep crawling back into the pit he once pulled me from. It’s not like one moment he saved me and everything went away. Every day is a battle against myself, every day is another redemption.

    Christ has redeemed me.

    But the effort it takes to wrestle my sinful soul into submission is too much to take. I’m a creature of the dark and I’m more comfortable wrapped in my sin and shame. Where he once wrapped me in robes of righteousness, I cling to the tattered threads of my disgrace.

    Christ has redeemed me.

    But I keep running in the opposite direction and rebuilding my walls. I keep saying that his way is too hard. I keep choosing the things that only fill me temporarily. I choose to stay in places that eat away at my soul one piece at a time. All the pieces of me he put back together crumble anew under the weight.

    Christ has redeemed me.

    But I keep tearing my eyes away and slipping beneath the waves. I’m selfish and inconsistent. I’m ashamed of the many ways I’m a fraud. I am reluctant to do what I know is right because of how it will hurt. I’m sick of hurting.

    Christ has redeemed me.

    And he’ll keep redeeming me. That’s why they call it a redemptive work.

    And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

    Philippians 1:6 (ESV)

    Christ has redeemed me.

     
  5. It already started. I tried to stop it but I already know you are something I should do without, but I won’t. I’m under the table, just keep wishing I’ll come out but I don’t. You are something I should do without, but I won’t.Please tell me that this could be easy. I’m tired of waiting for permission to love. Heartbreak is your game, but I’m learning. My heart could be yours, won’t you make it your own? I’m already falling. I couldn’t help it, didn’t think of the risks. I got a problem, problem when I look in your eyes. You’re mine and you know it. I’d still do it even if we were cursed. Won’t you be my rubble, it’s okay with me if it hurts

     
     

  6. Love Games

    I was asked to give my opinion on an article, Why Courtship is Fundamentally FlawedI love being asked for my opinion because I’m generally pretty opinionated. And this article talks about dating, something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about in the last few months.

    In sum, this article makes a few main points, which I’ll go over briefly. I’d recommend going to read the article yourself (I even linked it for you so you have no excuse).

    • He talks about what courtship is, which is good because I don’t really know. Honestly, the only thing I knew about courtship was that the people who talked about it were usually people who I didn’t want to model my love life after (no offense).
    • Courtship, according to this guy, has some of these characteristics: high accountability, asking the permission of the girl’s father to begin courting, rules about physical contact/purity, intention to marry, etc.
    • The author’s main point is that courting puts too much pressure on young people because of the implied intention to marry. He goes so far as to call courtship a “pseudo-engagement.”
    • The writer proposes a dating model similar to his grandparents. This would best be described as casual dating without the certain conotations it might carry today. Basically, young people were encouraged to go on as many dates as possible. This kept them from getting too serious and too wrapped up in each other too soon. This also helped youngsters back then to know by the time they reached marryin’ age what type of person they wanted to marry.

    My opinion on this topic is informed, as all opinions are, by my particular context. I feel like I have one foot in two different camps, somewhat separate but often overlapping. I hesitate to use terms as glib as Christian and secular, but I don’t know how else to really distinguish the two. I grew up in and around the church, and 2/2 of my serious relationships have taken place in that context. That said, much of my “dating” experience of the last two and a half years has taken place in a, uh, different context. I have met men at places where they serve alcohol (lol, bars). I have met them online. I have met them on the train. I have randomly reconnected with people from high school. I have found these two “camps” very, very different. Both have drawbacks and both have positives, but I don’t think either one can be deemed “better” or “worse,” “right” or “wrong.” And here’s why:

    I don’t have a very lengthy dating history. When I say “dating,” I mean people I have called my boyfriend, said “I love you” to, and introduced to my parents. Both of these relationships were very serious from the start. The first relationship lasted almost three years while I was in high school. I thought, along with almost everybody else, that we would get married. We talked about it extensively. When that relationship ended in a really dramatic way, I didn’t know how to reorient my idea of what my future was supposed to be. I was supposed to marry this guy, so now that I wasn’t, what was I supposed to think?

    The second, much shorter, relationship was just as intense, if not more. Promises of love and marriage were made much, much too soon, but “when you know, you know”, you know? When that relationship ended suddenly, I mourned not only the relationship itself but also the future I had built up in my head and my heart that was now ripped out from under me. I didn’t just have to “get over” the number of months I had been with him; I  had to “get over” the future years I would never spend with him.

    With these experiences in mind, I am inclined to agree with the writer. Date around! Be casual! Guard your heart! Know what you want!

    But wait! There’s more. I have found myself in the casual dating world and I don’t like it. I think I like Taylor Swift’s new song so much because I relate to one line in particular: I go on too many dates, but I can’t make them stay. My love life in my circle of friends is a running joke because I meet a lot of guys. I am sure they think I’m some boy crazy woman of ill repute because we have been raised in the “date to marry” mindset, but that didn’t work out so well for me.

    But “dating around” carries its own drawbacks. For example, I am not a casual person. I find it exhausting to try to maintain interest in more than one guy at a time because I get so invested. Maybe some would say this is a fault of mine, but I’m not so sure. I have a big heart, and when you’re in it, I’m passionate about keeping you there. This hasn’t worked well for me either. I get too wrapped up in someone who wants to remain casual. I want to talk all day every day, see them at every opportunity, and then I wonder why they run for the hills! (That hasn’t actually happened and I’m getting better at not suffocating people…) I want a relationship, you know boyfriends and stuff, when they don’t want that. I can’t change their desire not to be in a relationship, but I also can’t change my desire to be in a relationship.

    So then, what do I do? Do I bide my time and try to be cool and awesome and trick some poor guy into dating me? Do I say, “Screw you, good sir,” and move on to the next? Sure, being patient and seeing where things go might seem like a reasonable, mature choice, but what of the crippling anxiety, being unsure of important aspects of how these casual things work, and the lack of true commitment and intimacy, which is what I crave anyway? The latter option is praised by some as self-respecting and independent, but maybe it’s actually a little entitled: Give me what I want, and give to to me now, or get out of my face, you fool! (I’m actually still trying to figure that one out.)

    This is super long, so I’ll try to wrap this up with my overall point:

    No one can decide this for you. You can’t just blindly follow what someone tells you you shoulddo. Dating and being in relationships is a scary thing, mostly because you can end up really hurt (trust me).

    So at the end of the day, I don’t care whether you court someone or go on a different date each week. What I care about is why you are doing it that way and how you have reasoned through it. I care that you are being authentic and attentive to other people’s feelings, because no one likes getting their feelings hurt. Each person is different, so their approach to dating will be different. I’d be a fool to tell you what to do.

    And anyway, judging from my anecdotes, I don’t know what I’m doing either.

     

  7. Casually answering texts from my crush like

     
  8.  

  9. Leaves

    I was visiting family in my hometown a while ago. Someone made a comment involving me staying in Olds for a night. Without missing a beat and without really thinking about it, I burst out with a fierce (and disgusted) “Ew.”

    I don’t really hate the place where I grew up. I just spent a lot of time there and made a lot of mistakes there. In many ways, coming to the city was a chance for me to get away from that and away from the person I had been. I have changed in many ways since moving to the city, and I’d like to think this has mostly been for the better. What I’m trying to say is that I really like the city. Heck, I really like Calgary specifically.

    I still get a little awestruck when I walk through downtown. I still lift my head and stare at all the buildings. I somehow enjoy walking with the other commuters, as long as they don’t walk too slowly (then I hate them quietly).

    I was on the train the other day, and I was suddenly struck with how much I still have yet to experience. Watsky says in one of his songs: “you could fill up the sea with the things I don’t know.” I pride myself on having life experiences to write and talk about but the fact remains that I’m only 22 and have seen a small portion of the world and all it has to offer. I have my experiences but they are limited to my very personal experiences. I don’t think I’ve had a lot of life experiences, world experiences.

    I mean, I went to university. I changed majors. I taught sex ed. I moved into an apartment. I learned (or am still learning) how to kinda, sorta be an adult. I have tried and failed in my love life and I’m still pretty awkward and never sure when to send a text (how lame). So I have had life experience but there’s so much… More.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about my future because Wednesday is my last first day of school for the foreseeable future. For the first time in sixteen years, I won’t be a student. I’ve always been a student. I’ve always been good at being a student. At times I’ve hated being a student and felt like it’s held me back from the experiences I want but most times I like it. I’m a learner. I’m an academic.

    So it’s really exciting to think about life eight months from now. It’s also super scary. It was easy to talk about my hopes and dreams when I had more time to make them happen. Now I’m approaching the finish line and I’m kind of wondering what’s next. I’m stressing about paying back my student loans and looking forward to buying a car.

    I feel like university was an extension of high school in so many ways and now, finally, I’m about to head into the real world. For real.

    And I’m really excited and really scared all at the same time.

     
  10. Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul thanking each other in their Emmy acceptance speeches

    (Source: jaimescersei, via jaykubloid)

     

  11. "This is all I know how to do, carry loss around until
    I begin to resemble every bad memory,
    every terrible fear,
    every nightmare anyone has ever had."
    — Warsan Shire, “The Unbearable Weight of Staying”
     
  12. He’s got inside my head, He’s sleeping in my head, He’s got hold of my hand.

    I am not anymore surprised at your phone calls at 4 in the morning

    You try to write me letters like you’ve transformed into Charles Dickens overnight or something.

    What’s the use, I’ve caught the blindness.

    "Inside My Head" - Meg & Dia

     
     
  13. sharkwolfdarkwolf:

    Watsky is just so awesome.

    (via back-that-watsky)

     

  14. "But don’t paint me like the good guy ‘cause every time I write
    I get to choose the angle that you view me and select the nicest light. You wouldn’t respect me if you heard the typewriter chatter tap, tap, tapping through my mind at night, the same stupid tape loop of old sitcom dialogue and tattered memories"
    — George Watsky, Tiny Glowing Screens Pt. 2
     
  15. studentlifenetwork:

    Canada’s Luckiest Student 3 has officially launched. Since it’s the third time around, we’re starting with three awesome prizes that will have one Canadian student thanking their lucky stars. 

    Check them out: http://canadasluckieststudent.com .

    Prizes are coming fast and furious, so keep an eye on your inbox. As always, it’s the prize that just keeps getting better.